Friday, March 21, 2014

approaching the saddest decision in my life


I don't really recognize failure. Especially failure which are forced by financial matter - when you are actually succeed. Now I finally know how it feels to be smart but poor. I'm still superior, top-tier law school. But at the same time I'm inferior. Locked. Screwed. Poor NGO worker trapped amongst bureaucratic shit.

Although I've secured thousands of dollars from a scholarship, the shortfall is still too far. And I don't want to use daddy's money for the amount that huge. It's too worthless. Yes they say fight with your head for a change, and I do, but I have to be realistic and I can't pretend I don't feel the sad air is approaching. I know this is a war that I'll finally lose but someone in myself still insist me to do something.

If you know someone, who has by any chance offered a LoA from a Top 50 Universities around the world and finally had to drop it, share it to me. Printscreen your LoA and explain the university and your major, how much your shortfall, and what your recommendation for the future grant-seekers. Mention the name of your grant. Mention their safeguards and important policies. Mention your feeling. Mention how you get through it. But don't do it in more than 300 words. Send it to declining.toptier@gmail.com.

I wish it can trigger a change in the future, a reform, or make somebody get through this more easily. Wish my 14 days ahead many luck!

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Got u here. U know girl, ur past won't leave U behind, it seems likely give u a disguised exit. N then the future suddenly has been handed by u, the iron girl.

Unknown said...

Mbak, pas batch saya ada juga yang shortfall, karena keterima di Harvard School of Law, tapi dia akhirnya dapet sponsor kok.
Trus Mbak Novia juga keterima di John Hopkins School of Public health, dia juga dapet sponsor. Miracles do happen. Mudah-mudahan ada jalannya ya Mbak...

Margaretha Quina said...

mission accomplished!!! (meskipun ttp decline UCB, hehehe) http://qutuqupretty.blogspot.com/2014/04/open-letter-regarding-fulbright.html