ambitiously opportunistic

sejak kecil mama sudah sering bilang pada saya "kamu itu kalau ingin sesuatu pasti akan kamu kejar. seringkali pasti akan kamu dapatkan. tapi kalau kamu sudah cukup senang, akan kamu tinggalkan."

i never want something badly in my life. i never pursued anything. things are suddenly served, and i just did it, or keep it. might've said i did my best, but i always knew i didn't.

seseorang pernah bilang pada saya, "yang penting itu bukan mampu untuk memulai. tapi mampu untuk menyelesaikan"

oh yeah i'm just a little bored and starving girl being greedy for everything. we're just playing for every battle, not fighting. somehow, that's definitely a choice.

seseorang lain bertanya pada saya, "apa yang kamu cari?"

maybe a feeling of wanting, desiring a thing? refusing any kind distractions. focus. not letting all the doors open. i want a thing to be wanted badly. ecstasy. that's all.

the story behind lyrics should remain untold

there always stories behind lyrics, but they don't always reveal their real meaning to the readers. lyrics tend to be implicit, abstract, and general. sometimes the endings are twisted, or you could not get what they're actually about and keep guessing. when you listen to a song that you never knew what the lyrics were made for, you'll easily interpret and relate them to your stories, to yourself and your relation to people or other things on your mind. but if you know the stories, even the video clips, you'll firstly relate it to the v-clips or the background of the song; and put your own interpretation at the second place. or worse, there won't be any chance for your own interpretation, imagination.

music doesn't belong to those who create it. it belongs to the listeners. 

21. i've got more than enough

well, to be honest, today i can't stop smiling :))  i hate being 21, being adult. but i can't hate my life. it's perfect. there are ups and downs, but they're just cycling. when you look backwards, you can only smile and be grateful for all of them.

today i have perfect gifts. god put an almost full-moon in the sky tonight, and it shines for me; especially for me. and i have love. big big love from all the things: mom, dad, my half-soul sister, friends, universe. got many hugs and kisses. wishes. surprises.

it's true when people say the happiness between getting gold and getting kiss on your chin are equal when it's given by your loved ones. and that's just how god ask me to give more.

oh how i fall in love with life!

31 Desember 2011

Anyway, ini insentif sebelum gue memulai yang seharusnya gue lakukan. Ga apa-apa kabur sebentar. Well, hari-hari gue sedang dipenuhi hal random. Mungkin sebenarnya ga serandom itu, tapi karena gue notice, jadi random.

Senin. Gue lagi jalan ke kampus. Tiba-tiba ada motor berhenti dan manggil gue. Gue pikir mau nanya arah. Ternyata, gue diajakin jadi sales apa gitu. Yah, nyari sales kaga naik motor juga kali Pak...

Selasa. Gue jogging, disuit-suitin abang-abang satu truk. Ini biasa sih sebenarnya. Analisis Sisil, rambut gue alay.

Rabu. Ada temen les Perancis gue dulu tiba-tiba sms ngomongin soal shiny spandex short yg bikin libidonya naik. Trus dia curhat tentang masturbasi. Mengerikan. Seriously, masalahnya dia ga deket sama gue. Gue pikir dia mau jualan shiny spandex short. Analisis Nhay, kayanya dia lesbian. Berarti kalo Nhay bener, gue digangguin lesbian! Haha!

Kamis. Gue ke PN Jaksel untuk meeting, sembari menunggu gue duduk aja di kursi sembarangan. Karena besoknya ujian Askum (Aspek Hukum dalam Transaksi Keuangan), maka gue bawa slide presentasi yang halaman mukanya tentang kredit sindikasi. Eh tiba-tiba mas-mas (yang tampaknya lawyer) di sebelah gue menyapa, mohon ijin ngeliat slide-nya. Gue kasih. Dia bilang mau fotokopi. Gue suruh fotokopi di dekat PN. Udah baik nih kan gue. Eh tapi terus dia minta nomer HP gue, katanya nanti fotokopinya di Depok aja, soalnya fotokopi di sini 'agak tinggi harganya'. Baiklah, baru kali ini gue liat lawyer begini hemat. Grrrr. (Sebagai update, makin random lagi, abis gue kasih dengan sukarela slide gue, gue disalamtempelin 100ribu padahal udh gue tolak sampe mo gue buang. Gue terhina, tapi seneng sih. Haha. Makin random lagi, gue di-smsin ga penting berkali-kali, inter alia: semester berapa, rumahnya di mana? Mau muntah gue!)

Jum'at. Mau ujian Askum, ada mbak-mbak manggil. Gue pikir mau nanya apa. Ternyata dia minta tolong diketikin dan dikirimin sms, ceritanya ga ngerti caranya make HP. For this one, I feel happy! Tapi ini random! Haha.

Hmm baiklah sekian saja. Biar gue inget bahwa gue pernah punya akhir tahun yang random :)) Anyway, mbak-mbak shiny spandex tadi masih meneror gue, padahal gue udah sekacang-kacanginnya dia. Dan hari ini, gue makan duren segede baskom. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012.