Trial 101: TINDER!

I hate myself when I'm being judgmental. But, when you have a gang of badass trashy-mouths supporting your unjust judgment and made fun of the type of activity you judge, I might say my best efforts have failed in honor -- it was socially deconstructed.

So out of my curiosity, I installed Tinder. Yes, yes, Tinder, the hookup apps! Yes, yes, yes, that one that motivate people to only take into account physical impression for their yay or nay and degrade the importance of meaningful conversation to the much lower place than sexy-open mouthed-horny faces pictures. Oh please don't look at me like I'm a hopeless bitch or some virtual freak, or like how my friend expressed it:

"QUIN NGAPAIN LO MAEN TINDER?!?!?"

Seriously, I have a noble mission for using it. First, I have some friends who are cool in real life and are using Tinder. So, I know that eventually there are cool people in Tinder. Second, I wanna disprove my belief that Tinder is an app so low you that can't use it for a neutral, engaging and meaningful conversation with strangers regardless of their faces and their dating motive. It should be really up to the user, and if my first point is proven to be true (even to some small percentage of Tinder population assuming I can correctly choose them), there's a good chance I can have some fun convo.

So the Tinder hunt started. The first time was quite difficult -- out of some 100 photos I swap in some 20 minutes, I only picked three people. Well, 2 of 3 matched. Then I complained to my boyfriend that there's no interesting dude in Tinder -- in reply, he told me, "You're way too picky!" At that moment I realize that I have followed the Tinder way: let the photo tell you who they are. Alas, I feel disgusted at myself. In real life I talk to random strangers regardless of their faces. I walk with travelers regardless of how they look in pictures. As a person who traveled enough and understand real human interaction enough, that's a shame that Tinder dictated me with the pic-looking policy.

Then I broadened my criteria: Regardless of whatever human exist in the picture, anyone with awesome background, pics of outdoorsy activities or sport, whose pose doesn't look like harming the environment -- and one additional touch: who looks like having a strong character, I pick them. Not a good progress too, in my second 30 minutes, I picked some 6 dudes - all matched. Anyway, I also have a woman preference in my phone, but I eyed no one because of the "character" consideration.

Match done, now what? Messaging! So in Tinder, after you matched, and only if you matched, you can message each other. The first dude who message me had an awesome picture in mountains and playing drums and so on. The convo in my head would be like:

Tinder guy (TG): So when will you do your next via Feratta?
Me (Q): No idea! It's in Malaysia anyway, and way too pricey.
TG: Yeah it's too bad that our government does not manage the national park like Sabah-Sarawak does. But it's quite good, make it cheap! Wonder if the money go to the local community, though.
Q: Nope nope, it's a pretty high stake investment. Surely they take all the money. But the porters get a pretty good deal and certain limitation to maximum carriage they can bring up there.
TG: [continue with interesting social/ecological/whatever shit stories or ideas]

That's the kind of convo I have in real life, with real traveler. IN CONTRAST, the shit I talked about with my awesome-looking matches: some asked for phone number straight away (how rude!), some asked my occupation, some asked if your age is real or fake, one even made explaining about Motorcycle Diary and what or where Machu Picchu is. Oh my great-pic dude, GET SOME EDUCATION! As an avid Capricorn who believe no conversation or small talk should happen unless it's super genuine, really exciting, have a value to test or to add some perspective, I see these Tinder convo nonsense. Well, I mean, for me it's nonsense. I'm not a kind of patient angel who can manage talking with some 5 guys virtually and bragging the same shallow shit over and over again without talking about any interesting ideas.

Maybe it's because I traveled. Maybe the pressure to get in touch to new people and keep some targets in conferences. Maybe the community organizing I did in rural villages. Maybe the life overseas. Maybe because I couchsurfed and met awesome personalities who backpack the long way. Maybe it's the weird, all environmentalists Portland. Maybe I have meet too many strangers and befriend them and I had learned the hard way about real life engagement -- because I had to. Oh well, maybe it was not real, in fact, Jakarta made me anti social and multiply my people screening a hundred times. But still, virtual conversation, Tinder like? Not for me, not for me. I'd rather take care of my shit in my laptops or read some geeky science fiction animal books. In my forever alone, anti social apartment unit. I'D RATHER, SERIOUSLY.

I gave up without even proving any of my noble mission above. Quitter, yay!

So I put an end to my Tinder life and decided to focus replying my cellphone messages from my family, friends, relatives that I constantly abandoned. Tinder was just three days in my phone, two times sliding around, and I found nothing but disgust. If there's a way of meeting new people that I can appreciate -- I'm pretty sure it's not by algorithm that counts at your interest and let you choose by looking at pictures. I might not be able to interact more than a conventional traveler's way -- or, activist way maybe?

But to be honest, I pity myself for not being able to give some just judgment for such a personal choice of which I should not have judged. For my cool friend who happen to use Tinder, seriously, it's just a reflection for me. I still love you the way you are but please love me although my virtual capacity and tolerance is definitely need some additional schooling.


Love,
Trashy Mouth Agent 009
From the Dark Side