Towards the land of monsters

I wanted to marry a mafia, like for real. The kind of future family I had in my dream was a stressful one, full of blood, surviving conflict after conflict, with him managing the dirty business and me managing the family charity. Allocate the dirty money to the least marginalized, who will never get funded for typical charity projects. Search for long-term solutions for the worst of the worst. Sounds like a really beautiful cooperation in this imperfect world.

But as I dated "dirty" people and bad guy (I've never dated a real mafia though), I realized that those kind of ethical contractions are only beautiful in hypothetical. My ethical voice inside just couldn't survive their stories, seeing them doing injustice in front of my eyes killed my emotions faster than I thought. While sometimes they just need an ear to hear, I couldn't help to be less than a judge to punish them and adding their stress. One "dirty lawyer" in my past really did what I imagined, really charitable, but play all the dirty cards. I enjoyed the mental exercise of being his diary, but realized that it's no more than a curious journey for me.

I never thought of future family again until this morning suddenly I talk with my boyfriend about another hypothetical. I said to him I want to learn pole dance. He always knew I want to move to rural areas where environmental conflicts get no advocate, so practicing pole dance would normally be weird. But we like to imagine stuffs, so we continue the story. I said I want to work more closely with religion groups, including MUI (Majelis Ulama Indonesia), basically religious leaders. And we're joking about me being a pole dancer while pursuing my Ph.D. and doing environmental religion law reform, and while I'm working on my paper and advocacy somewhere he will clean up the mess sent by Islam extremists to our house. Like, seriously, the terror you can imagine for going against the communal norm can be as chill as threatening phone call to dead chicken sent to you in package. We won't be married, and I don't imagine having children but I'll be interested in adopting one. He's totally fine with both options, but he wants dogs. I want monsters, so we'll name our dogs after monsters and dress them like ones. He still wants to be a movie critics, and I'm so supporting him to be more irritating to stupid filmmakers. We both will have lots of enemy, and our daily life will discuss strategies to protect our dogs and children from terrors. Maybe if we get bored with Indonesia, we will go to South Asia or post-Soviet countries or Africa, but he wants to go to Iceland. Either way is fine, but Iceland got to be chaotic first, maybe some revolution before we're going there.

Hmm, an interesting fiction already. I've never got a partner who can't being imaginative, and he's being a nice one, we're still living our childish dreams. I hope we'll really live it :) Ah, already on our way, kiddo.