christmas 2011

have i told you i am a big fan of universe? well, more of that, i guess she's my very first love: nature, sea, mountains, wildlife, the whole universe. well i'll make you fall in love with it, too.

 that's why those in heaven are happy, i guess.

jump, anyone?

 you're blue, orange, red, violet, grey,

make a life, make a death

see the sky just to see god is great

 this one taken at amanda ratu beach, sukabumi. go, go!

 most romantic one:

sea turtle babies go to the sea,

get a life, babies!

this christmas i was in solitude. well, not really, i have some companions, but after all, i set myself in solitude. there was a scene reminding me of Coldplay's Yellow, while i walked alone, separated from them all, bombarded by light drops of rain, watched the waves, and sang along. you MUST try it! though it wasn't sunrise, yeah at least there's a great amount of satisfaction i felt: i got what i seek.

and about the turtle scene. it was sooo touching that i want to cry! well, it's hyperbolic, but they were so cute and small yet have to struggle so hard just to get in the water (it is forbidden to put them directly to the water since it'll ruin their survival mechanism), then let them selves swept away by the sea stream, and come back 30 years later. jesus, they're just babies! 'yea, cool, huh? life's hard even for turtles, mate! but they like it' jesus answered me. well, that one's a hoax.

well, those photos above maybe not really good. i don't have good skills on picturing and editing, but they're just as cute as they are, right? last words, 'invite yourself to leave' said a friend while we're leaving. yeah, the universe won't torture you while you have to leave, you feel peaceful instead. maybe that's why i'm so deep in love with it :)

mates, what do you say about 'harmony'?

it's not put all the instruments altogether at the same time. not necessary to have a long-melodic part in all songs. isn't it about creating empty space for other, letting your ear enjoy its tunes, then play your part when the time is right?

you can't have a conversation when everyone talks at the same time.

sweeper

a sweeper is a function in a trekking team, the last person to 'sweep' and accompany those who are desperately being the last people walking amongst the team. they should deal with those who are sick, naturally slow, in a state of weakness, or simply unlucky.

everybody hates being a sweeper. you need to be very diligent, sometimes have to be ready to take over their carrier if they're not strong enough to carry it anymore. you need to be very patient. you need to be fun, keeping the spirit of the people you're sweeping no matter however cranky you're on them. you need to be super supportive, and sometimes, when the circumstances turns disadvantageous, you shall be firm. it's so difficult to balance the firmness and kindness directed to those who already in total fatigue, being despair of finding the finish line, and want nothing but an end.



but let's pretend you're sweeping a stranger. a fun stranger. and you like him/her very much. and you're losing control of being firm and starts enjoying the flow. you put your heart, all your effort sincerely, to sweep him/her. that could be a big trouble because you put both of you in a dangerous risk of being far too late. yay, it won't be a problem if it's a city, but remember, it's jungle. and remember, you're just sweeping. by the time your mission accomplished, in other words, deliver the person safely out of the jungle, you'll be just... saying goodbye and he/she will just say thank you. and you'll feel slightly alone since your heart was still there.

and well, in daily life, sometimes you can find the analogy... and being trapped like that feels like 'Ouch!'

so, before sweeping, fence yourself well, ladies :)

this world's teaching me to observe... and not taking side yet.

We had good times, had bad times. Years pass by and people change. Yes, people change. And it changes me, too.

I said, in high school, stupid smokers! Especially those smokers whose head veiled. What the hell are they thinking?
Here, now, I can say nothing when my bestfriend passionately smoke in front of me, with her veil, hidden from outside. Sometimes under pressure because she don't want to be seen, but she wants to smoke badly. Or, a lovable best-bestfriend who has to wear veil after married. A young girl, only twenty-two who rarely got home sober in the dawn. It's totally weird to see her in such thing, I was like shouting "Allahu akbar!" at first, but soon to be calmed with her normal portion-cigarette which make me sure she's still completely sober.

And never thought a friend would be a Christ denier... Or got into a really deep doubtness of religion matter, and finally left...
Either preachers or non-believer are great. For the sake of humanity, I love both of them. As long as they don't disturb me, or try to preach on me. I once a nice believer, how diffferent all of us ever since. And a bestfriend suddenly agnostic. Lots of agnostics around. And lots of holy mates. My mom and Dad might be surprised for my frequency of saying "Astaghfirullah", "Masyaallah", and so on, or to find Al-Qur'an highlighted on my desk, together with my untouched bible. But for that case, religions are merely habit.

I mocked at people who believe in ghost. I mocked at all form of irrationality....
Then I lived for nearly two months with host family in Turkey who truly believe in fortune-telling and all the supernatural matters. Then one and a half month in a remote island in Eastern Lesser Sunda with all the magical things. I can say nothing, I could mock no one. I was taught to respect, to observe.


And I am halfway understand that people wear masks.Welcome to the world, honey!
You might be too late.
How young souls are so easy. Easy to everything, on everything.

Next you may say divorce is normal, permissive to homosexuals, even probably get used to torture, then have excuse for everything.
The more you know, the more reasons behind everything you can find out.
There will be a time to take sides.

But before all, the pleasure of being naive... is irreplaceble.
And I would like to trade everything to be naive forever.

Friend Zone

I'm working, and get bored. Now I'm going blogging. Seriously, I almost copy and paste my research regarding Foundations (which actually what I'm working now) to this blog, wishing it would help those who's researching about it though I don't make it comprehensively. But let's forget it for now.

Well, now let's back to whatever thing passed my head seconds ago. It's Anto. Let's not call him Anto for it'll violate his privacy, let's call him "Flower". Flower asked me a question about girls you might want to know, too.

"If a boy flirt, or approach you, and you don't like him. What would you do?"

First answer was "Neglect him". Second answer "Intentionally do late response for each text; or not appear in promised occasion; not answering phone calls, you know"

But the third and true answer I didn't give him was

"Set him in the friend zone"

A girl may reply your text on time, hanging out with you, always looking for you, or whatever you think "OMG she's into me!" on the very first days, but after some weeks you'll realize that it's impossible to move further from that zone.

From a girl's point of view (or, if you can't consider me as a genuine girl, let's pretend I am), it could be a trick of saying "I like you, I'll give you a chance of not bothering me. So, let's just be friend, I don't want to hurt you". She'll give you all the good sign -of being a friend. But hey, from a bitch's point of view, it could be a trick of saying "I need an affair. But actually I don't want you"

Well, however, it will require a really good skill of transforming harsh into kindness, and wise consideration not to make them mislead the good signs. Most of the time, if that girl's good enough in setting up the situations, it'll work, and hey, you'll get a new bestfriend! And that's the deadliest trick, for once you're there, you couldn't get anywhere. It's between better than frankly rejected and worse than frankly rejected, but most of the time, it succeed!

So, Flower, to whoever you're currently flirting, please take this into consideration. And good luck! And honorable blog readers, let's hope the next post wouldn't be as fishy as this one. Pagan poetry and Cheers!