It was dawn when one of my old friend called me. First sentence she spoken was "What is the difference when you really care because you love, and the one when you merely feel it as an obligation?" I tried to answer. Honestly I really know nothing to say, but anyhow I want her to be comfort. But it's only need minutes for me to realized that I was talking bullshit.
The question she asked to me is an eternal question for some poeple. Hopefully not for me. Who doesn't want to feel a real love from somebody? A love that is not an obligation. But who knows whether you'll get it or not. Or worse, maybe you get it, but whether you can feel it or not, or give it or not.
There are times when I feel like a machine because love turns into obligation so fast for me. It only need months intense contact to be bored with anybody, then it will be my time to take distance towards them. We wear masks, many mask when we act nice like forever to our friends. Psychologist may have their theories, but past will remain past. And you'll be the villain unless you make other people as the real villain.
One exception for me is my family. It is the only reason for me to believe that pure love exists. I feel no obligation towards my sister but I love her, she's my half-breath. My mom and my dad never demand anything from me, they let me do everything. And I shall give applause for their method, they succeed in making me give everything, everything best from me to make them happy. They let me fly high, taste the world. I think they're lonely without me and my sister, but they ready with all the consequences since the first time they let us go. They love me. Indeed. But can I love them as they love me?
Each existed question long for an answer. It might be found in experiences, might be in prayers, or in any other places. As you seek it, you'll only could hope. And believe.
