sister. mate. couple.

hey blogger!

how lucky you are this morning. it's even the second time i write. well, if i may say, if somebody ask me what kind of husband i want, i will answer: "like my sister"

she's a half-soul of mine. worst thing in my life possibly would be her death. it's so difficult to find somebody fits you like that, not even best friends. honestly you can't always be positive with your besties, i mean, jealousy, insecurity happen with besties. i have many good friends, but no one really best. i need time to take my self away from them sometimes. i can't stand forever just with them. but with my sister, it's okay. we've been together for 15 years and separated after that but still, she's the most intense person whom i contact with and still doesn't make me bored. she always ready to do the craziest thing, without make me feel beaten. and she's fair, type of straight speaking. if i can find someone to call as soul mate, that must be like her.

the question is, can i find someone like her to spend the rest of my life? to be noted, in opposite sex. or, well, if it should be a woman, it will be more complicated because my life task on philosophical ground will be added by "lesbian reasoning", so i think it'll be better a man since there still many other reasoning tasks that almost blow my head up.

well, i know it's too random. is it because of blood, or just a given-mate? or is it just because i use to? if i can get the answer, possibly it would be the same formula with love.

anyway, i'm currently feeling like want to slap a bestfriend's couple. *sigh*

sunday dawn

looking back to our past sometimes tickling therefore it feels better just to remove it. but while i started blogging, one of the reason was "to look back to what you have written"

and now, after long time been abandoned, looking back to this blog feels embarrassing for me. in some years, it will be more embarrassing, i believe. but yeah, it was me. or still. many things had passed, unwritten. many unimportant stuffs written. at least, for this time, i prefer write my feelings in poems, since the needs of writing sometimes come so emotionally, and we need something in better forms than narration, something more hideous and look artistic. so that's why i really have nothing to do with this blog.

well, that's some unimportant random stuff for me. and thank you. enjoy.