after graduation

How strange life is.


Who shape your life? You. But I have never shaped mine. They shape themselves with the webs I can't even guess by fulfilling what I was afraid of. Fulfilling what my heart actually wants, but are avoided by my head for many practical reasons.

My dream to work in the field of environmental / human rights law was made for an essay when applying for a scholarship. When I surprisingly won the scholarship, I suddenly have a tangible dream, a vision of who I want to be.

I never wanted international law as my major; it was a one day decision to be written in the essay, and now I am an international law graduate. I used to dream to work in the lawfirm with best salary as a fresh graduate, but I gave away all my chances to apply to such firms for a vision I wrote in that essay.

Yes, it was an essay of two pages which have brought me here. Or that scholarship. Or the interviewer. Whatever. The point is I'm here, surprisingly. 180 degrees from the girl I knew in the early years of my uni life, who buried her books of philosophy and left her pursuit of truth to live practically peace. Who always preferred money and commercial law and the big firm things and rejected her conscience to be in the mud. Who swore she won't be able to live with the typical NGO / academician lifestyle. Who hated activists and mocked researchers. Who unfortunately always be brought back to her avoided nature by various incidental occasions.

Well, I don't know whether I'll walk further and finally be where I want to be or not. But I think starting from the lowest point is worth trying. Challenge myself to replace my prodigal side with an earthy one is effective. Sure I won't give up my dream on marrying a rich mafia, but hey, I still have that spirit not to let myself unable to have my fun at any circumstances! Nah, good luck with the new start, star!