sister. mate. couple.

hey blogger!

how lucky you are this morning. it's even the second time i write. well, if i may say, if somebody ask me what kind of husband i want, i will answer: "like my sister"

she's a half-soul of mine. worst thing in my life possibly would be her death. it's so difficult to find somebody fits you like that, not even best friends. honestly you can't always be positive with your besties, i mean, jealousy, insecurity happen with besties. i have many good friends, but no one really best. i need time to take my self away from them sometimes. i can't stand forever just with them. but with my sister, it's okay. we've been together for 15 years and separated after that but still, she's the most intense person whom i contact with and still doesn't make me bored. she always ready to do the craziest thing, without make me feel beaten. and she's fair, type of straight speaking. if i can find someone to call as soul mate, that must be like her.

the question is, can i find someone like her to spend the rest of my life? to be noted, in opposite sex. or, well, if it should be a woman, it will be more complicated because my life task on philosophical ground will be added by "lesbian reasoning", so i think it'll be better a man since there still many other reasoning tasks that almost blow my head up.

well, i know it's too random. is it because of blood, or just a given-mate? or is it just because i use to? if i can get the answer, possibly it would be the same formula with love.

anyway, i'm currently feeling like want to slap a bestfriend's couple. *sigh*

sunday dawn

looking back to our past sometimes tickling therefore it feels better just to remove it. but while i started blogging, one of the reason was "to look back to what you have written"

and now, after long time been abandoned, looking back to this blog feels embarrassing for me. in some years, it will be more embarrassing, i believe. but yeah, it was me. or still. many things had passed, unwritten. many unimportant stuffs written. at least, for this time, i prefer write my feelings in poems, since the needs of writing sometimes come so emotionally, and we need something in better forms than narration, something more hideous and look artistic. so that's why i really have nothing to do with this blog.

well, that's some unimportant random stuff for me. and thank you. enjoy.

Phase: Lost

In a phase like this, people starts get lost with the directions they're prepared. Well, there are two options. One: your eyes opened to another point of view, therefore your stupid brain be able to realize more thing you call "facts" but you're not ready for it. Two: you don't even open your eyes anymore. Tired of seeing makes you shut them, therefore you get blind and can't see.

Will you wait for someone to get you directions, stand still, or move away without directions?

No move I guess, because you don't even know where to move and what you want. All you know is how to keep on moving: nothing to achieve, nowhere to walk to. Your goals changed from "something" to nothing. Then you just walk so you don't have to stand still and feeling alone.

Then you lost deeper.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Head, Heart, and Love

For spartans, love makes weaknesses. Use your head and don't be controlled by heart more than head.

Now I'm losing my faith in love. Does love exist? Or is it just a product of human weaknesses and physical reaction? Human needs a companion, so they put that love concept inside their brain; the same thing with physical reaction misred as signals of love.

I have many friends and I love them. But that's just a different thing. Friends are temporary, though they can last forever but they won't affect your life for a lifetime. They won't be a part of you in every second of your life. And what about being somebody's part? To choose or to wait? You can be with everyone if you choose to be like that. That's head's product. And for those who wait, are you sure you'll get that "one"? In the end you choose, indeed.

Anyway some precedents have thaught me not to take serious your "love" until your lover really able to prove that they love you. Until someone can give me a real proof of love, I don't think I'll believe it.


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Shopping

My sister and I love supermarkets. We love it more than boutique or factory outlets. When hypermarkets arose, we love hypermarkets, too. Even entering it without buy anything, we just love the activity of being there.

"Because our childhood memories, dad and mum always brought us there for family recreation. We love the atmosphere of family of which we get there"