A friend asked me in a joking manner,
"Try to admit,
there must be the reason behind your habit on always trying to be so busy"
No, I said. I just like it, because I realize everyone's time is limited, especially as a student whose freedom is unlimited. And after working, I have to be ready to have no life.
"Try to remember,
you're not the same person everyone's met the first time you came.
Since when you've been so busy?
Since when you try to compete in every possible competition and take every possible assignments, works, and so on until you lose control of your time and burdening yourself so hard?
You're avoiding vacancy.
You reject every possible knock on your heart, you close it.
You're killing yourself,"
Noooo! I said again, twisting him on his neck, NOT in a joking manner.
"LOL! Ask yourself.
Ask Mem about it," said he.
And we laughed.
But I know, I've been so different ever since. I will not ask Mem. She was my bestfriend, but I've been far too away from her, she doesn't know the present me; we don't know each other anymore.
And that time, the last time I have a love life, is not the answer of all my friend's question. I will not admit, I will not let myself even think about it. HELL, I think this blog's going emo. I've been so emo in writing, (not in lyrics, I will not to death write about somebody hopelessly craving for love or sad stories about ex-boyfriend memories, I won't even sing it.), but where else I can be emo? LOL!
Although some part of me has forced me to admit that he was the one who changed me that much. He's the source from whom I have my present habit to make myself always busy. He was so busy. And I was so lonesome. And I tried so hard not to remember him all the time. And I tried to be busy, as busy as I could, only in order to be as busy as him. But the habit entails me even after I asked him to break me up. The only moral value I got from the failed love story was: If you really love someone, you won't let yourself to be so busy.
All I'd like to state (to myself, of course. who else will read?) is I'm fine, I'm so fine and I'm in love with all these suicidal things. Being single's been so okay for me from years ago until now... as long as there's still friends around, mountains and trekking, as long as the nature could make me smile unstoppably like a bride who's going to say the vow. As long as I still have a super random sister who will reply my text in a very funny way promptly, however fishy the content I text to her; although she always try to make me broke. I haven't had that free space inside my head, moreover in my heart, so there's no need to fill. There has been no vacancy, maybe later. And there's been no heartache or those emo things everybody has suspected on me. No, my pride won't let me to do such cheesy thing.
Don't worry about me, because I will take all the worry soul to dance with the life, to be so random, be in a total chaos, broke, fail, free, prisoned, even wake up again and shine. Don't ever worry about me, because I'm forever okay: alone, or with someone :)
"Try to admit,
there must be the reason behind your habit on always trying to be so busy"
No, I said. I just like it, because I realize everyone's time is limited, especially as a student whose freedom is unlimited. And after working, I have to be ready to have no life.
"Try to remember,
you're not the same person everyone's met the first time you came.
Since when you've been so busy?
Since when you try to compete in every possible competition and take every possible assignments, works, and so on until you lose control of your time and burdening yourself so hard?
You're avoiding vacancy.
You reject every possible knock on your heart, you close it.
You're killing yourself,"
Noooo! I said again, twisting him on his neck, NOT in a joking manner.
"LOL! Ask yourself.
Ask Mem about it," said he.
And we laughed.
But I know, I've been so different ever since. I will not ask Mem. She was my bestfriend, but I've been far too away from her, she doesn't know the present me; we don't know each other anymore.
And that time, the last time I have a love life, is not the answer of all my friend's question. I will not admit, I will not let myself even think about it. HELL, I think this blog's going emo. I've been so emo in writing, (not in lyrics, I will not to death write about somebody hopelessly craving for love or sad stories about ex-boyfriend memories, I won't even sing it.), but where else I can be emo? LOL!
Although some part of me has forced me to admit that he was the one who changed me that much. He's the source from whom I have my present habit to make myself always busy. He was so busy. And I was so lonesome. And I tried so hard not to remember him all the time. And I tried to be busy, as busy as I could, only in order to be as busy as him. But the habit entails me even after I asked him to break me up. The only moral value I got from the failed love story was: If you really love someone, you won't let yourself to be so busy.
All I'd like to state (to myself, of course. who else will read?) is I'm fine, I'm so fine and I'm in love with all these suicidal things. Being single's been so okay for me from years ago until now... as long as there's still friends around, mountains and trekking, as long as the nature could make me smile unstoppably like a bride who's going to say the vow. As long as I still have a super random sister who will reply my text in a very funny way promptly, however fishy the content I text to her; although she always try to make me broke. I haven't had that free space inside my head, moreover in my heart, so there's no need to fill. There has been no vacancy, maybe later. And there's been no heartache or those emo things everybody has suspected on me. No, my pride won't let me to do such cheesy thing.
Don't worry about me, because I will take all the worry soul to dance with the life, to be so random, be in a total chaos, broke, fail, free, prisoned, even wake up again and shine. Don't ever worry about me, because I'm forever okay: alone, or with someone :)
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